finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
