your parents love me but you hate me
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
