At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
