Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
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