I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
