At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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