one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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