I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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