Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize
