the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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