We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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