I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
