She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Randomize
