When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You pole danced in your parka.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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