We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
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And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
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You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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