You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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