i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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