I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
