i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
if only i could text you this smell
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
