your thong is hanging out like whoa
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
