some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
this just has baby written all over it
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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