He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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