break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
