If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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