This girl is more easily done than said...
My Higher Power is John Stamos
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
