if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
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