These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
