went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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