do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
