You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
