She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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