the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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