I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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