I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
