The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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