I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
