i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
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