She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
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I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
third nipple confirmed
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
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