bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize