hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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