why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
try to milk me bitch
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