i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
