your room smells of hookers.
And success
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
