I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
