Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize