"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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