Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
