Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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