If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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