literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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