Walk of Shame. In a state park.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
