its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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