Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
