Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I cut my penus on the lid.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
