So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
