Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize