Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
