I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
