I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
