I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Randomize
