I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
there is glitter all over my balls
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
